JANUARY 1999 ----------------------------In this issue------------------------------------------ Techie's Corner by Michael Powers: Last time we looked at Rain, this month's topic is a more general examination of Water On Stage. The Play's the Thing: Traveler’s Journey or How I Spent a Penny for a Play and Met William Shakspere Enter Laughing: A Tech Joke, The Pecking Order, and Lightbulbs! Rubin's Corner: Fosse! Voices in Contemporary Theatre: Women playwrights in the "best of" lists, Robert Brustein, and your questions comments and letters in "From the Mailbag" CyberTheatre Monthly : Theatre Webrings, Two sites that serve your production needs, and the Journal of Irish Theatre ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Techie's Corner As a continuation of last month’s column about "Rain On Stage", this month’s column will focus on water on stage. Specifically, water in sinks. Next month, I will wind up this topic with a discussion of other types of water such as hand pumps, fountains, waterfalls, pools, etc. The basics for water in sinks are the same 6 major areas of consideration as for rain. Supply, storage, delivery, recovery, control, and water quality. For an in depth definition and explanation of these six areas, check out last month’s column under TRE back issues, December ‘98. Probably the most common water FX asked for or required by scripts and directors is a sink, usually a kitchen sink. For a sink, supply and storage are virtually the same thing and delivery is often combined here as well. Recovery is usually, but not always, a five gallon bucket under the sink drain. Control is basically making all your plumbing connections and joints water tight with no leaks. Water quality is very important as water from a sink is often consumed. However, as the performer is not immersed in the water, heating it is rarely necessary. Delivery, while usually simple is the biggest variable. The three most common forms of delivery to a sink are: 1. A hose from a backstage faucet or sink. 2. A barrel or container higher than the sink using gravity for the delivery pressure. 3. A hudson sprayer or similar, with the wand removed, hooked to the sink. Other less common methods include: 4. A pressured water tank with a connection to a separate air tank or compressor for the delivery pressure. 5. A commercially manufactured Precharged Diaphragm water tank. When installing a sink on your set, the first thing to do is to adapt the faucet inputs to the type of plumbing you intend to use. This step is the same for all methods of water delivery. The most common and the easiest to use is the common garden hose type of fittings. In the laundry plumbing section of most hardware stores there is a shelf of various fittings to adapt different types of pipe fittings to hose fittings. The fittings on the sink you have will determine just which adapters you will need. Once the sink has been fitted with adapters the next thing to attach is a "Y" hose which is just what it sounds like, a "Y" shaped section of hose with fittings at all three ends. The "Y" hose is kind of like a two-fer for water, it splits up your water and sends it to both the hot and cold faucets on your sink. From the "Y" hose you then can run a hose to your source of water. Of the first three methods of supplying water, the hose to a back stage sink is by far the easiest. The water is supplied clean and under city pressure. It doesn’t need to be treated or filtered. The draw back to this method is that if there is a leak, the supply of water is unlimited. If the hose runs where it is out of sight, quite a bit of water can run out before anyone discovers the leak. It also means that, unless you can run a second hose to the back stage sink supplying the water, your supply may exceed your drain container. It can be very disconcerting to have the actor turn on the faucet and have water start running out from under the sink cabinet. In addition there are times when the set is in the round, on a turntable or a rolling wagon or some other configuration that prevents you from running a hose to the sink. The second method, a container that drains to the sink is also very easy to do. The container is simply placed on a platform, backstage landing etc. that is at least six to eight feet or more, higher than the sink . The container holding the water can be a 55 gallon barrel or a 5 gallon pail. The main thing is that it must be very clean. If the container is washed and refilled every day, treating the water is unnecessary. Otherwise it should be treated for purity, much as you would treat drinking water on a camping trip. Purification tablets are available at any good sporting goods store. Because stages are notoriously dusty and dirty, because stagehands and electricians working over head can always knock down dirt, spike tape, snow from last year’s Christmas Carol or Nutcracker etc., any container should always be covered. The advantages of the gravity feed are simplicity in plumbing, limited water supply in case of a leak and it is very inexpensive. The easiest way to run the water from the container to the faucet is simply siphon it. Of course you will need to clamp or fasten the hose in some way to keep the end at the bottom of the supply container. If the water is consumed in quantity, I suggest acquiring a "potable water" hose from a RV dealer. Some hardware stores will carry this type of hose but not many. The potable water hose is not a necessity for a short run or when the water is used for washing or a small sip, but it will make the water taste a bit better. Otherwise a ordinary, clean, garden hose or laundry hose will do fine. If you want to drill a hole in or near the bottom of the container and install a hose bib or faucet, that is fine and does allow you to shut off the water from the off stage side if needed. PVC valves are easy to work with and can be purchased at almost any hardware store today. Brass or copper valves cost more if you buy them new, are more difficult to work with but are far sturdier in any situation where physical abuse or contact takes place. Iron valves work, are cheap, but they will rust and put a distinct metallic taste in the water. If you have never done plumbing work or don’t have someone available who has, I would not suggest this variation. If you want to try it anyway, a few hints are in order. First, use plenty of teflon plumbers tape on any pipe thread joints. Second, While I do advise using pliers or channel locks on hose fittings, remember that too tight will produce a leak almost as often as too loose, for this purpose, hand tight and just a tad more is what you are aiming for. Third, all hose fittings require a washer, I prefer rubber but the plastic or other types supplied with hoses are just fine. Fourth, tape of any kind or silicone caulk and similar sealants will never stop a leak when placed on the outside of a hose, joint or tank. Another way to install a valve between the tank and the sink is to get a ball gate valve. It will have pipe threads at each end and a lever type handle. When it is turned 90 degrees it is full open or full closed. These are available from Grangers, McMasters & Carr et al. and better hardware stores. You will have to find adapters to change from the hose threads to pipe threads and back again, but it will allow you to shut off the water from back stage. The major disadvantage of the gravity feed system is that water is HEAVY! Any platform built to hold a water container must be very sturdy. Any slight bump can start the water sloshing from side to side and if the platform or container are not stiff and sturdy, the result can be a disaster. Water weighs 8.322 pounds a gallon, 41 pounds for five gallons, and 458 pounds for a 55 gallon barrel. The third method of providing water to a sink is the altered Hudson sprayer. By "Hudson Sprayer" I am referring to any of the hand pump type of garden sprayers available at hardware/lawn and garden stores, Hudson and Chapin are two of the best brand names, but any of them will do the job. To use one of these units you must first remove the wand and valve or cut the hose near them. This will give you a rubber/plastic tube about 1/4" to 5/16" inside diameter. Insert a hose barb into the end of the tube and secure with a hose clamp. (illustration #3) Hose barbs come in a variety of sizes and styles. The barb section must fit the inside diameter of the hose from the sprayer you are using and the thread end should be male hose threads to fit a standard garden hose fitting. Once you have the sprayer hooked up to the back of the sink, simply fill it with water to the fill line, put the top on and pump till the desired pressure is reached. The advantage of the sprayer method is that it is easy, cheap, self contained and has a good pressure. The disadvantages are that the volume of water is limited, the largest sprayers hold 2 gallons or less of liquid, and the pressure drops off rapidly the water is used up. If your needs are more complex, you may want to resort to more complex methods of providing water. The most usual reasons for needing "other" methods of producing water are turntables, cut-a-way sets and theatre in-the-round or extended thrust. In all of these situations, a hidden, self contained unit it needed. If the amount of water necessary is small, the hudson sprayer is an excellent method. For situations requiring more water or sustained pressure the two methods mentioned earlier are very good. The first, a water tank and an air tank, is especially suited to a situation where your space is oddly shaped or very limited. In fact, I am using this method on our stage at this very moment. The show is "Having Our Say" and is done on a turntable with a cut-a-way set. They actually cook a meal on stage so all but two of the cabinets must open and be used, and they use 4.5 gallons of water. The two cabinets that do not open are used for the waste water so the only place left is the space between the walls of the two sets. The available space is 10 1/8" wide. The solution was to make two tanks out of PVC. One for water and one for air. The PVC used is schedule 40, rated at 260 psi at 180 degrees fahrenheit temperature. When using PVC for a pressurized system, all fittings and joints must be made at a professional level, anything less will leak air or water. For the system I am using now, the water tank is 6" i.d. at 48" long, which contains slightly over 5 gallons of water. The PVC fittings needed to build the tank have an outside diameter of 8.5" so 6" i.d. is the largest pipe that would fit inside the walls of this set. The tank is constructed with an end cap at the bottom with a hose bib faucet installed in the end cap. To install the hose bib, the end cap was drilled to 45/64" and tapped to 1/2" FPT. Even though teflon tape is not required for this joint, I strongly recommend it as it prevents the possibility of the threads spalling or cracking if you have to remove the faucet in re-insert it for any reason. At the other end of the PVC pipe, a 6" slip fit socket to female pipe thread adapter was attached. The cap was then constructed from a 6" male pipe thread to slip fit socket attached to a series of bushings, adapters ending in a shutoff valve and a female hose fitting. Just below the top of the tank there holes drilled and tapped for a pressure gauge, air input and a bleeder valve. (illustration #4) The reason for the 6" thread and socket adapters is so the water tank can be opened up and cleaned before and between uses. This is very important as a closed tank will grow a forest of mold and bacteria in the months or years between shows that need a sink. The air tank is simply a 4" section of schedule 40 PVC 4’ long with end caps at each end and drilled and tapped for an air input and a tank pressure gauge. To complete the system simply install an air in put valve, a "TEE" fitting a regulator and a hose to the sink. (illustration #5) The main advantage of the twin tank method is that you can design the tank size and shape to suit very unusual situations. The last method I will touch on is the use of an accumulator tank. An accumulator tank is a device used in residential water well systems. Check out your Granger catalog under precharged water tanks, a 2.1 gal tank is part # 3P676. Basically an accumulator tank is a two part tank with a rubber diaphragm dividing it into halves. A precharged tank has one section of the tank pressurized and sealed. When you fill the other half of the tank with water under pressure, it further compresses the air in the first chamber. The valves are closed and the water source removed. Then when you release the water into the sink, the diaphragm section provides the water pressure. In some ways it is like the hudson sprayer method except that you don’t have to pump it up. In some ways it is like the twin tank method except everything is in one container. Some of the advantages are that the water supply can be quite large, these tanks come in capacities to from 2 gallons to over 300 gallons. The cost ranges from $45 for a 2 gallon tank to $5,600 for a 370 gallon tank. The disadvantages include the shape and size. They closely resemble a large compressor tank of a comparable volume, basically short, squat cylinders. Another disadvantage is that they are designed to be always filled with water. In the theatre we will use the tank for a few weeks and then it will be in storage for weeks, months or years between uses. Even if it is cleaned with bleach and dried very thoroughly, the probability of mold or fungus etc. growing inside during the storage period is quite high. --- Michael Powers is the Technical Director at The Meadow Brook Theatre, a LORT B theatre in Rochester, Michigan, a Detroit suburb. Prior to The Meadow Brook Theatre, Michael has worked at such theatres as Geva in Rochester, N.Y., The Lyric Theatre in Oklahoma City, The Cherry County Playhouse in Traverse City Michigan, The Walnut St. Theatre in Philadelphia, The Pittsburgh Public Theatre in Pittsburgh and Wild Wood Park For the Performing Arts in Little Rock. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ The Play's the Thing Happy 1999 to everyone! Well folks, we sit perched on the edge of the year 2000. With everyone else worried about the Y2K bug, I feel kind of silly wondering what the year 2000 will mean to the theatre world. Will The Prince of Eygpt become the new Lion King on Broadway? Now that Streetcar Named Desire has been turned into an opera, what is next . . . possibly a musical version of Sam Shepard’s Buried Child in the works? A new film version of Midsummer Night’s Dream is being released in May . . . might we be seeing a new offering from Branaugh . . . oh, Kenneth, I have a few suggestions if you need some! Speaking of all things Bardic (wow, what a segue -- from Y2K to Shakespeare!), I do hope you have all taken the opportunity to see Shakespeare in Love at the movies. If you haven’t, I would suggest that you call the theatre, find out when the matinee starts, buy that ticket, grab the popcorn and settle in for a couple of hours of delightful whimsy! And all of the above brings me to my offering for this month! I am proud to present my own comic version of a young man’s travel to London and his meeting with William Shakespeare. Along the way he meets several characters that illuminate the conditions and events around London. Oh, in case Shakespeare is reading this, my apologies for butchering the playwright’s craft! Traveler’s Journey or How I Spent a Penny for a Play and Met William Shakspere . . . Shakespear . . . Hey, I Can’t Spell! Dramatis Personae Chorus (alias "The Traveler") William Shakespeare Richard Burbage Various travelers along the road Hired men and actors Act One Chorus (alias "The Traveler"). In order to escape the plague I went To Londontown. The road was wet and paved With so much mud from all the rain that fell. Food at home was scarce because the price was High, and so we filled our bellies up with Peas and beans when all the oatmeal was gone. Papa’s money barely stretched to cover All we need, and Mama had to spin and Spin to bring in the extra that we crave. Along the way I met some others who, Like me, were doomed to walk, while those with cash Could afford to ride atop a fine horse. And so imagine, if you will, the road I trod upon. See the many walkers, Soaked with rain and covered with mud, And hear them chat so merrily as we pass the time until we reach Londontown. Traveler. Tell me good woman, what takes you to London on such a journey? Woman Traveler. Sir, as you can see, I have gotten m’self into a bit of trouble. I’ve lost me job and gotten kicked out of me house and church. Traveler. And pray tell, what has landed you in such a predicament? Woman Traveler. That no account boyfriend of mine! See, we was to be married, but when I turned up in the family way, he got a bit embarrassed about what his pa might say. So he went to a tavern one night. He was quite drunk when the press gang showed up and forced him into the military. And here am I, with babe in tow, no man to speak of, and no future unless I can find him, or some kind parish to take me in. Traveler. Ah, miss, that is indeed a sad tale and I hope you find the answer to your woes. Woman Traveler. You wouldn’t be looking for a slightly used gal to be your wife would you? Traveler. Um, no miss, I am afraid I have enough of me own worries at the moment. No job, no prospects . . . I could hardly afford a whole kit and caboodle at this time. But, um, thanks! Woman Traveler. Well, it was worth a try! Exit Woman Traveler. Scholar. Well, young man, you certainly escaped that wench very cleverly. Traveler. Yes, that was close. Last thing I need is to get tangled up in someone else’s web. So, are you heading to London? Scholar. Yes I am. I am on my way to study and become a great teacher. Traveler. Great! I haven’t had much learning m’self. I can read a bit and write some too, but I ain’t very smart about books. Scholar. Oh, how I recall the splendid hours spent learning the classics. Plautus, Terence, Seneca, Virgil, Ovid, Cicero . . . Traveler. Those your buddies? Scholar. Hardly! Those are the great masters of Latin literature. Ah, from sunrise to sunset, the words of the masters ringing in our ears. Of course, if you were one of those lazy sorts who did not pay attention, the only thing that would ring in your ears was the sound of the schoolmaster’s whip. Traveler. Must be why I never took much to education! Enter a very "official" looking man. Official. You there . . . Traveler. Me, sir? Official. Yes you. Let me see your papers! Traveler. Papers? Official. Yes, papers . . . your traveling papers. Either show me them papers or else it looks like I might have caught me another vagrant. You know, being a vagrant is against the law in these parts . . . Scholar. [Aside.] I think this young man could use some help. Oh, sir, here, while the young man looks for his papers, let me give you mine. [Hands papers to official and then whispers to traveler.] While he is looking mine over, casually stroll over to the ditch and hide until he leaves or else you will get arrested. I will divert his attention to something else. Traveler. Thanks! I owe you for this. Act Two Traveler. So, late in May of 1600, I Did arrive in good Old Londontown. Queen Bess is still in charge and sits upon The throne they say, though she is quite old indeed. London, a largess queen herself in size, Is noisy and quite full. They say that more Than 100,000 fill her to the rim. I finally see the River Thames and gasp To see Bess’s barge moored up at the bank. Watermen row back and forth to carry Those across the water road in order To reach the other side. What mysteries Are hiding there, waiting for me to see? So, I set forth to find a place to stay. With a band of fellow migrants, we find And attic cold and dank, but it is all We can afford. We tell each other stories Of those we left behind, of warm, clean sheets, And beds of straw, of cheese and bread and eggs. Then suddenly to merry boys tumble Through the door. They have been to the alehouse And tell of singing and of beer. They say The local entertainment offers up Some fun for just a penny. There is Bullbaiting, cockfights and a gladiator Bout just across the River Thames, but there Is also a playing house with plays of many names. They say the finest of the public Theatres is a place that’s called the Globe, Where a playwright named William Shakespeare Conjures worlds from far away, and ghosts do Walk, and witches cackle, and rebellion Fills the air. So several of us decide To make our way across the Thames and See the worlds of Will the Bard with our own eyes. Act Three Scene One Traveler. And so forth we ventured to the Globe, with Its flag flying in the air, signaling A play’s at hand for all the world to see. What a marvelous site she is, the rounded Wooden O. Three stories tower high above The earth and stretch nearly up to the sky. It gleams white and seems like a beacon lamp Drawing us ever near. And so the time Of two o’clock marks the hour is near and This Tuesday afternoon in May will yield Up never-before seen adventure for A traveling lad in need of reverie. Scene Two Traveler. What ho! Can you tell me what is playing today? Hired Man. Why today the great Richard Burbage is to play the most lamentable role of Hamlet in the play of the same name. Traveler. Hamlet? Is this a comedy or tragedy? Hired Man. Well, if the role is called lamentable, it would hardly be a comedy now would it? Traveler. I am new to this play stuff so how would I know. And how much does it cost? Hired Man. Only a penny. BUT, that only admits you to the pit. If you want something more comfortable, it will cost more. The higher you climb, the higher the price! And from the looks of you, a penny is all you can afford. Traveler. Yeah, I am still looking for work. You wouldn’t happen to know of anything would you? Hired Man. Well, around here, there is generally something to do, if you have a mind to work hard, and the actors are always looking to buy new plays from people who can write. It don’t pay much, but the work can be steady. Say, why don’t you watch the play, and then come around at the end. Maybe we can find something for you. Traveler. Hey, thanks... Starts to enter the Globe Hired Man. Wait, you still gotta pay first! Act Four Traveler. So I enter the glorious Globe, a Pit awaiting me, as a penny gets Me in only that far, a groundling Among the crowd. At the end of the O, There is a stage, which extends about halfway Into the yard. The stage itself seems to Be about forty and three yards long. Behind the stage is the tiring house, For costume changing I suppose, for the Actors needed somewhere to change their clothes. Rising from the stage were two columns Holding up the heavened roof. Above the Stage were balconies for playing other Scenes. And soon the play began and so we Of many classes watched. The nobles sat Above us, as they could pay to sit, while The groundlings stood and watched actors from the pit. Suddenly appeared from the inner trap The ghost of Hamlet’s father (who I hear Will Shakespeare plays) to terrify the crowd. A loud, clamoring noise was made by rolling What sounded like heavy balls from somewhere Up above. The audience gasps and cheers The sight as the ghost then disappears. When Claudius, the wicked king, is shone To be the murderer of Hamlet’s father dear, The crowd hisses and yells every time He takes his place on stage. For Gertrude there Is little pity for marrying so soon. For Ophelia there are tears and woe. For Hamlet, the crowd offers encouragement To revenge his father’s death. Yet when he Hesitates, the crowd jeers his slow revenge. The sword fight at the end brings yells to watch The poisoned sword, and still more yells when the Queen drinks from the poisoned cup and soon dies. When Hamlet finally kills his foe, before His own impending death, whistles and Cheers rang through the crowd. Upon the entrance Of Fortinbras, a cannon shot rang out. As Hamlet is borne off the stage, in his Glorious death, a thunderous applause was heard. So ended the tale of Hamlet, full of Grief and woe. The audience had seen enough Of this tragical revenge show. Act Five Scene One Hired Man. So, there you are. What did you think of the play? Traveler. Well, very interesting. I was very impressed with everything.I have never seen something like this, other than the traveling band of players that would occasionally show up in my town. This is very different. Hired Man. Think you would like to work in the theatre? Traveler. Well, I am not an actor, that’s for sure. But I am good with my hands and I am a hard worker. And I sure could use the work. Hired Man. Well, come with me. Mr. Will is looking for a new man to work in the tiring house, taking care of props...you know, stuff they carry on stage. Seems the last man got drunk and forgot to give the ghost his helmet so he is getting the boot, haha. Scene Two William Shakespeare and Richard Burbage are at the tavern, drinking and talking over a new play in the works. Enter the Hired Man with the Traveler. Shakespeare. So Burbage, what did you think of the show. Burbage. As you say Will, "all’s well that ends well." Shakespeare. Richard, please, that tiresome habit you have of including play titles in your speech is very annoying. Burbage. What you will, Will. [Laughs.] Hired Man. Excuse me, Mr. Shakespeare, and Mr. Burbage, this young man is interested in working for the company. And seeing how you just let someone go, I thought you might like to talk to him. Shakespeare. How old are you boy? Traveler. I am sixteen, sir. Shakespeare. New to London I suppose. It seems every day the streets get more and more crowded with boys like you seeking work. Burbage. You look strong boy, but let me see your hands. [Shows hands] Yes, Will, these are the hands of a hard working lad, see. Rough, dry, been doing hard work with these. Shakespeare. Well, let me explain how things work in the company. You see, Richard...um, Mr. Burbage and I are called actor-sharers. So are the rest of the principle actors of the group. We pay all the costs of the play, including salaries. Burbage. Decisions are up to us, like hiring lads like you. Shakespeare. And then there are the hired men. They usually work on a two year contract for weekly wages. If we hire you, you would start at the bottom, and we could pay you about . . . [looks to Burbage] Burbage. I would say 5 shillings a week, and then see how he works out. Traveler. Five shillings a week. Boy, that would help. Shakespeare. Now we also have the trainees, those young boys who play the girl parts. They are training to be actors some day and must commit to a seven year apprecticeship with the company. They then move through the ranks to hired men, and sharers, if they are good enough. Burbage. And don’t forget the company manager. He is in charge of seeing to the needs of the company, buying costumes, paying playwrights, or whatever else we need. Traveler. Gosh, it sounds like a big operation. Burbage. It is son, but "the play’s the thing!" Shakespeare. Burbage, there you go again! So, Richard, do we take him on? Burbage. Why not. He can’t do any worse than that drunken idiot we just got rid of. Traveler. Really? I got the job. Oh thank you, thank you. Shakespeare. Sure lad, now let’s settle the deal on a beer for now. The manager can help with contract stuff later. Richard, bring us another pint of beer. Burbage. "As you like it" Will. [Laughs] Shakespeare. ARGH! Epilogue Traveler. And that is how I met the Bard and joined The company. I am moving up the ranks And learning more about the stage. It has Its ups and down, but soon I get to play A page. I am even trying out my Hand at writing a little play, but when I show them to Mr. Will he say to Hide them from the light of day. But I will Keep trying, and someday maybe I will be A most excellent playwright in the world, Like Mr. William Shakespeare seems to be. Works Cited Brockett, Oscar G. The Theatre: An Introduction. San Diego: Aztec Shops. 1997. (Supplemental class material). MacGowan, Kenneth, and Melnitz, William. Golden Ages of Theatre. New Jersey: Prentice-Hall. 1959. Papp, Joseph and Kirkland, Elizabeth. Shakespeare Alive!. New York: Bantam Books. 1988. "Shakespeare’s London." British Literature: The Shakespeare Collection. CD - ROM. Zane Publishing. 1995. "Shakespeare’s Theatre." British Literature: The Shakespeare Collection. CD - ROM. Zane Publishing. 1996. "William Shakespeare." British Literature: The Shakespeare Collection. CD - ROM. Zane Publishing. 1995. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Enter Laughing A Joke... A tech looks down and sees a snail crawling across the floor, stomps on it, and mutters "damn thing's been following me all day." The Pecking Order... Producer: Leaps tall buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a locomotive. Is faster than a speeding bullet. Walks on water. Gives policy to God. Director: Leaps short buildings in a single bound. Is more powerful than a switch engine. Is just as fast as a speeding bullet. Walks on water if the sea is calm. Talks with God. Playwright: Leaps short buildings with a running start. Is almost as powerful as a switch engine. Is faster than a speeding BB. Swims well. Is occasionally addressed by God. Stage Manager: Makes high marks on the wall when trying to leap buildings. Is run over by locomotives. Can sometimes handle a gun without inflicting self-injury. Dog paddles. Talks to animals. Actor: Falls over doorsteps when trying to enter buildings. Says "Look at the choo-choo." Wets himself with a water pistol. Plays in mud puddles. Mumbles to himself. Technician Lifts buildings and walks under them. Kicks locomotives off the track. Catches speeding bullets in his/her teeth and eats them. Freezes water with a single glance. IS GOD. Lightbulbs... How many Artistic Directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: Does it have to be a lightbulb? How many Producers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: How many did it take last time? A: What's wrong with the old one? How many directors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: None. Give a note to the stage manager. A: 3...no, make that 4...on second thought 3... well, better make it 5 just to be safe. How many assistant directors does it take to change a lightbulb? A: One. But he/she has to check with the director first to make sure he wants the bulb there. How many stage managers does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Pull the technical director off of a set installation to deal with it. A: I DON'T CARE!!! JUST DO IT!!! A: It's on my list...It's on my list... How many technical directors does it take to change a light bulb? A: None. Call the master electrician at home to fix it. How many interns does it take to change a lightbulb? A: It doesn't matter because you'll have to do it again anyway. How many master electricians does it take to change a light bulb? A: We don't change bulbs, only halogen lamps. It's a props problem. How many props masters does it take to change a light bulb? A: Light bulb?! When did they get a lamp? How many Lighting Designers does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: After a long conference, it was decided to use several fresnels, an ellipsodal, warm tones for a cozy atmosphere and a strobe to effect lightning striking in the background, for that stormy effect. Also several gobos will be used for tree patterns on the cyc. What was the question again? How many executive directors does it take to change a light bulb? "What do they need light back there for?" How many IATSE Technicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A: 20 - you got a problem with that? How many volunteer crew members does it take to change a light bulb? A: 4. One to collect every cliplight in existence backstage, one to cut a 3x3 sheet of gel into unuseable 1x1 pieces, one to search for the cabinet key, one to wander through the dressing rooms asking the actors if they need theirs... How many Actors does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. Three. One to actually do it, and two more to discuss how they would have done it better. A. "Excuse me, but you have people to do that? I have to get into character" A. None. Complain to the director at notes. How many theatre critics does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. All of them - 1 to be highly critical of the design elements, 1 to express contempt for the glow of the bulb, 1 to lambast the interpretation of wattage used, 1 to critique the performance of the bulb itself, 1 to recall superb lightbulbs of past seasons and lament how this one fails to measure up, and all to join in the refrain reflecting on how they could build a better light bulb in their sleep. How many dramaturgs does it take to screw in a lightbulb? A. The lightbulb was invented by Thomas A. Edison and patented in 1880. A high-resistance carbonated filament encased in a vacuum tube is heated with electricity to the point where it will glow but not burn... How many theatre students does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Erm, what's the deadline, cos I may need an extension. How many audience members does it take to change a light bulb? Three. One to do it and another to say to the third, "ROSE, HE'S CHANGING THE LIGHT BULB." ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Rubin's Corner Fosse Bob Fosse lived between 1927 and 1987. In 1973 he became the first director to win the Oscar, Tony and Emmy awards in one year for the film version of Cabaret, the Broadway musical Pippin, and the TV special Liza with a Z. He also received Tony Awards for the choreography of Pajama Game, Redhead, Little Me, Sweet Charity, Chicago, Redhead, and Dancin. Academy Award nominations include "Best Director" for Lenny and All That Jazz. He was nominated for a Tony Award with Fred Ebb for the book of Chicago. This month 32 dancers and singers bring to Broadway the main moments in the work done by Bob Fosse. Among the numbers presented are "Big Spender, "I Wanna Be A Dancin Man", "Shoeless Joe from Hannibal Mo, "Dancing in the Dark", "Steam Heat", "Rich Man’s Frug", "Glory", "Razzle Dazzle" and Mr. Bojanges". Richard Maltby Jr. directed the production with the help of Ann Reinking and Gwen Verdon. Andrew Bridge has done a wonderful job of creating lighting effect that give us the "Fosse" feel. However, the evening belongs to the 32 dancers led by Valarie Pettiford and Jane Lanier. Ms. Pettiford was last seen in Sophisticated Ladies as Judith Jamison’s understudy. This show makes her a star. She opens and closes the show singing the Fosse theme song, "Life Is Just A Bowl of Cherries". When she was finished all the men in the audience have their blood on fire. Ms. Lanier, who is married to John Rubinstein, is the lead in many of the dance numbers. Her best number, ‘Steam Heat", stops the show. The rest of the tall, slim and young cast can do all those famous Fosse movements. This 3 act, 2hours and 30 minute show goes by so fast that you feel you want more. You will have seen some many wonderful dance numbers that you have trouble remembering them all. Eugene Fleming, Desmond Richardson, Scott Wise, Kim Morgan Greene, and Dana Moore are just a few of the supporting dances that make this a pleasurable evening. It is amazing how the dancers make an easy transition from scene to scene. We can easily see those Reinking and Verdon moments that were done orginally on Broadway by the two ladies. I kept waiting for them to appear on stage. However, the young dancers were so good that you might confuse them with the originals. After the recent disaster of Parade, Livent has returned with a production that is a hit. The production is playing at the Broadhurst Theatre on 44th Street. I urge you to "dance", sorry for that, on over and purchase your tickets before you have to wait to see this excellent evening of theater. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Voices in Contemporary Theatre Some notes from the International Center for Women Playwrights (featured profiled in CyberTheatre Monthly) In Autumn 1998 playwrights, actors, directors, journalists and other threatre professionals were asked to nominate ten English language, twentieth-century plays that they considered 'significant'. As a result, 188 authors were nominated for 377 different plays. Arthur Miller was the most nominated author, closely followed by Harold Pinter and Samuel Beckett." Here were the women...Top Girls (Caryl Churchill) - 16 (tie), Our Country's Good (Timberlake Wertenbaker) - 36 (tie), Cloud Nine (Caryl Churchill) - 50 (tie), A Taste of Honey (Shelagh Delaney) - 50 (tie), Oh What a Lovely War (Joan Littlewood & the Theatre Workshop) - 59 (tie), Serious Money (Caryl Churchill) - 77 (tie), The Children's Hour (Lillian Hellman) - 85 (tie) The Royal National Theatre's choice for their "A play for year of the Millennium" has a few more/different women, heavily weighted to the 2nd half -- the RNT had to salt their choices with more black writers, too -- 1928 Machinal Sophie Treadwell, 1934 The Children's Hour Lillian Hellman, 1952 The Mousetrap Agatha Christie, 1958 A Taste of Honey Shelagh Delaney, 1959 A Raisin in the Sun Lorraine Hansberry, 1961 The Knack Ann Jellicoe, 1963 Oh What A Lovely War Joan, Littlewood/theatre workshop, 1976 Dusa, Fish, Stas and Vi Pam Gems, 1982 Top Girls Caryl Churchill, 1983 Masterpieces Sarah Daniels, 1987 My Mother Said I Never Should Charlotte Keatley, 1988 Our Country's Good Timberlake Wertenbaker. ____________________________________________________________ Here's an article recommended to you by Doug Kirshen from The Boston Globe Online This is an extensive interview with A.R.T. Artistic Director Robert Brustein from the Boston Sunday Globe. Globe articles tend to stay on the free portion of their site for just two days, so check it out now if you're interested (after that they charge a fee to retrieve it from their archives). What follows should be a summary followed by a link to the full article. -Doug The following story appeared in The Globe Online: Date: 01/10/99 Headline: The art of the matter Story Intro: Robert Brustein set up shop at the American Repertory Theater at Harvard 20 years ago, after his departure from the Yale School of Drama. At 71, he shows no signs of mellowing, continuing to present plays in an uncompromisingly modernistic and postmodernistic style. Not only do the plays often divide audiences, but his theater criticism, mostly for The New Republic, has sparked debates about multiculturalism and any number of other issues facing the contemporary theater world. Following is an edited transcript of an interview with the ART's artistic director. ____________________________________________________________ If you're interested in the rest of this story point your web browser to: From the Mailbag: Did anyone else see the "Shouts and Murmurs" page in The New Yorker? It's nothing but stage directions all from Eugene O'Neill plays. Gave me quite a laugh. Ty Adams in NYC publishes a monthly newsletter called SCRIPTS NOW, which now also has a website. It's an opportunity to get a synopsis of your play circulating to his subscribers, which includes agents and production companies. I'm not sure I got any nibbles out of it, but I know folks who have, and it doesn't cost a thing for the writer. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ CyberTheatre Monthly Theatre Webrings Webrings are associations of websites with a common theme that provide links to one another and to a master list of all the sites in the chain. Webring.org is headquarters for many webrings on various topics, including about 40 rings of theatre sites - now some of the tie-ins to legitimate theatre are tenuous. There are the inevitable Cats and Phantom fanclubs. Still, there are many rings and sites worth an afternoon's surfing. Among our favorites: Theatrical Sound Designer and Composer Ring - 20 sites - Home Index Random This is a ring dedicated to Sound Design and Composition for the Theatre. All people involved with the producing of sound in a theatrical setting are encouraged to join the ring. This includes individuals as well as companies who make products for use in the theatre. The Cleveland Theatre WebRing - 10 sites - Home Index Random The Cleveland Theatre WebRing is dedicated to Actors, Directors, Theatre Artists, Singers, Theatre Companies, Organizations, and Theatres in the Greater Cleveland Area. The purpose of this WebRing is to bring together all of the Theatre resources in Cleveland into one place where actors, designers, directors or beginning theatre enthusiasts can get information. So, if you are an artist or theatre in Cleveland, join the best source of theatre news and information: The Cleveland Theatre WebRing. Absolut Rent - 111 sites - Home Index Random A Rent Webring. Renaissance Faire pictures - 29 sites - Home Index Random This is a web ring that honors and glorifies the renaissance faires which exist all over the United States, nay the world! They will contain pictures (by flemish painters) of renaissance faires, the people that work the faires, and the patrons. Members of this ring are expected to have at least eight(8) pictures pertaining to renaissance faires. The HTML fragment MUST be on the page (or main page, if more than one page)that the pictures are on. S. Crew Ring - 7 sites - Home Index Random This ring is an attempt to band together sites that detail BackStage Crew and Tech Crew Humor, Info, Servies, and the like. If your site contains one or more of these, please submit an application today! The Art of Theater - 36 sites - Home Index Random This webring is dedicated to linking any theatrical groups with a presence on the web. This also applies to performance groups in general. The founding site is a teen-theater mix, with Shakespeare, juggling, miming, magic, the works. Theater is an experience to be shared, so join us! An honorable mention only to Stage and Concert Lighting Designers' Web Ring who's membership criteria is too riddled with too many agendas and requirements that have nothing to do with stage or concert lighting. Your Production Needs Two FREE on line services to find the right Crew and Talent wherever the location or phase of production. Journal of Irish Theatre Forum ~http://www.ucd.ie/~irthfm/ Fascinating academic essays and articles on Irish Theatre ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Copyright 1999, Mersinger Theatrical Services